I’ve been feeling really burdened lately but I’m still figuring out what that burden is. Funny eh? Well that’s where your prayers come in. I’m an open book, I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or I trust people too easily with things that excite me, or make me sad, or personal struggles I battle with all the time.
I have a conflict. That conflict is Fear.
Today I was really convicted by the message given at Church. The speaker spoke about Fear, Missions, going out of our comfort zone, etc. But the one thing that really stood out out of everything he spoke about was FEAR.
I was so fearful about getting married at the age of 22, was I ready for it? That’s fear.
I was fearful about moving to Georgia with only two months of notice, will people accept us? That’s fear.
I am fearful of if I get my green card or not; my visiting visa ends in march and we still haven’t received our marriage certificate. If we don’t get it in time, I will have to go back to Canada without my husband. That’s fear.
In order to work in the States, I have to pass an exam, which I’ve failed twice already. Will I pass again? That’s fear.
I have a desire for children, but I have PCOS (Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, it’s been about 8 years since I’ve been dealing with it). Doctors have said that having a child will be difficult or I may not have one at all. That’s fear.
My husband and I have a heart for missions. The mindset is wherever we are living it will always be a mission field. The fear is, God where are you taking us next. I love Georgia and I don’t want to leave anytime soon. We desire a home here, we love our church here, our family has gotten bigger. But I’m still fearful.
Fear is hard and it entraps every part of our being if we let it. It’s our human nature to fear of the unknown. However here is our hope. Jesus.
The Speaker spoke about a missionary couple that served in China several, several years ago. Their name was John and Betty Stam. They were very young when they went but this was the mindset of Betty before going to China.
“Lord, I give up all my own purposes and plans, all my own desires and hopes and ambitions, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee, to be Thine forever.” ~ Betty Stam
As believers do we have that same attitude as Betty did? I know I don’t or if anything I lack it A LOT.
We have lots of ambitions and desires for our life and as you can see most of my fears are pretty earthly which should never be the case. Wherever God places us we have to diligently work hard and strive to serve Christ every minute of every day bringing Glory to his name. It comes with a lot of sacrifice too.
If I do my part here in Augusta, Georgia with all love for my Lord I know that he will reveal his plans for my family. I have no reason to fear. My God is good and he will continue to be good to me whatever the outcome of life may be.
“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” ~ Psalm 73:25-26
Don’t be afraid friends, I have a Savior that will take away all those burdens and fears and will make plans beautiful in his time. You can have this free gift too. Surrender your heart to Him and he will Save you.
I’m thankful for friends and family who are a HUGE encouragement to my husband and I. We love you and appreciate the prayers. Continue to pray for us.