Recently, I have been reading a book that was given to us as a wedding gift from our dear friends. It’s called “Love & Respect” (The Love She most desires; The Respect He desperately needs).


I’ve been married for two months now and in no way am I an expert at it. I don’t think anyone is no matter how long you’ve been married. However, there is one important thing I’ve realized is how much I need to Respect my Husband. Many of you think I’m usually a happy person and that I’ve got a sweet personality. Truth is I’m not all that; I can be very loud, very rude, very bossy, very inpatient and the list goes on. But really the truth is I’m a Sinner. Being married comes with a lot of Sacrifice, Hard work, Commitment, Love & most of all Respect. God has designed both Man to love their wives and Woman to respect their Husbands.

As wives we have no trouble understanding the meaning of unconditional love but do we know the meaning of unconditional respect. We are wired to desire love and yearn for it the most through our husbands. However, what we fail to do is really yearn to know the deepest desires of our husband’s heart which is respect.

1 Peter 2:17-18 says “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh.”

The Bible teaches us this and we ought to show through our words and actions the respect our Husbands need. When unconditional respect is shown there also the unconditional love is given. The book I’m reading displayed attitudes we as wives should NOT have…

“How can I show respect for him when he comes across as so unloving?”

“He doesn’t deserve respect; he has hurt me…”

“I love him, but I get so frustrated and angry I don’t want to respect him…”

“Love is what matters. If he loved me as I need to be loved, maybe I would have stronger feelings of respect…”

As a newly wife I can say that I am a selfish person. I always want my needs to be met first. We are all wired like that. However, is that the Godly way of living in a marriage. It most certainly is not. I love and admire my husband dearly but when we expect each other to do certain things we start becoming a HUGE disappointment in each others hearts rather than ALWAYS loving and respecting no matter the circumstances.

The Book I’m reading puts it nicely this way…

“When he honors her as first in importance and she respects him at first among equals, their marriage works. When he expects her to look up to him yet puts her down, he deflates her. When he feels she is trying to be a bossy queen, he cannot detect her real heart. When she expects him to protect her but then accuses him of being too fatherly or condescending, she deflates him. When she feels he is trying to be “more than equal” or greater, she cannot detect his real heart”

I’m still learning and I know that I will always be learning how to detect my husbands real heart. Our loving nature as wives is always to care for our husbands, pray for our husbands, put their needs first and most of all respect them.

I respect my husband for all that he does. Right now we are living off of one income. I’m a Canadian Citizen trying to get my green card here in the states so that I’m able to work and serve in the way God wants me too. My husband works a good job, he is part of a ministry called “Come Awake”, he is starting to serve in our local assembly, he is a good friend to those around him and most of all he is a loving husband to me. It can be quite overwhelming for him but the thing is I don’t respect him enough and that Is something I need to change today itself. I need to detect my husband’s real heart.

1 Peter 3:5-6 says “For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, do what is right and do not give way to fear”

Make sure Christ is the center of your marriage; without Him your love and respect will deflate completely ultimately destroying your marriage. Most times we forget but don’t forget the love our Savior has given us, the countless blessings He has provided for us. Respecting our Husbands’ bring honor to God; He is our head and we are his treasure.

I hope your encouraged by my thoughts and I would love to hear from you married ladies all the reasons in which you respect your husbands’. I’m newly married so any godly advice for me will be graciously accepted. Love y’all ❤


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